I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
