Already got asked if we're dating
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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