Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize