And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize