Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize