And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
