My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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