I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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