I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Randomize
