you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize