it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
