I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
