I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
