um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize