is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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