no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize