I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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