Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
