Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
