No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
