we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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