If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
