There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You ate ashes out of my bong
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
