well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
