the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize