I want to stick my p in your. b.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
