how can u be prego again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
