i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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