HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
