i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize