Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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