You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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