is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
