I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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