Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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