My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
