So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
