the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize