Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
