I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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