i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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