got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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