Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
