No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
