He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize