Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
