My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
