the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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