I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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