and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
White coat. Heels.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
