Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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