We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
