apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
