OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
