By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
