what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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