im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
