I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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