we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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