ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
