Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize