wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
